Heart's a Mess
by kevinmcwanky
Summary: When Deaton said that Isaac will be the tether that will be able to pull Allison back from the dead, he froze. He was about to say "No, I can't do this," when he found Allison staring at him with those eyes that said "I trust you." Based in the 3x11 scene.


_Author's Note: This is the first time I have wrote anything in this year, I think, and I think I'm back with fanfiction for a while. This is my first teen wolf fanfiction, and I was hesitant to write it at first because of mythology - I'm not used to write that stuff. It took me a lot of research, but here it is. They're my OTP, so I hope you like this fic!_

* * *

"But it's not just someone to hold you under. It needs someone who can pull you back. Someone that has a strong connection to you, a kind of emotional tether."

Those words Deaton had spoken before refused to leave Isaac's mind alone since the moment he said them. Isaac thought that what they were going to do was similar to that time months before when he had to get into the tub with ice. That time he didn't need any kind of emotional tether, not that he knew of, at least.

The moment Deaton said that Isaac will be the tether that will be able to bring Allison back from the dead, he froze. He was more than nervous, he was terrified. He was about to say _"No, I can't take that responsibility" _when he noticed Allison staring at him.

He could see in her eyes that she was equally terrified, if not more than him, but her need to find her father was stronger than that fear. She had said before she would do anything to find her dad, even if it meant to die for a while.

Right before the three of them had to get inside of the tub, Allison noticed Isaac's hands were shaking a little. She swallowed, but she took his hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Hey, Isaac, look at me," he slowly lifted his gaze up to meet her eyes. "I know you can do this. I trust you."

She gave him a half-smile, which he returned, and when she let go of his hand, he looked down again. He didn't trust himself at all. He was being responsible for saving Allison's life, and he really didn't know if he was capable – if he was enough to save her.

These last days, they had spent more time together, and somehow he had found Allison to be a really likeable person – leaving aside that she stabbed him twenty times with Chinese ring daggers. He had grown fond of her so quickly, and he knew he couldn't bear losing yet another important person in his life. He didn't have anyone – apart from Scott – after all.

The three were inside their respective tubs now, and they started pulling them under. Isaac could feel that the water was really cold – the type of cold that reminded him of things he really didn't want to remember now. Instead, he focused on Allison's eyes – he was the last thing she saw before the water covered her face completely.

A couple of minutes passed and she didn't struggle to get out and reach for air, her lifeless body simply started floating up, but Isaac still didn't let go of her. "What now?" he asked Deaton, turning to look at him.

"All we have to do is wait until they all come back," Deaton responded, taking his hands off Scott's shoulders and going to dry his arms. Lydia did the same with Stiles, and Isaac didn't have other choice than to do the same.

* * *

Six hours have already passed and they still hadn't come back. Deaton was busy with some things he still had to prepare for when they came back, Lydia has been busy with something on her phone, and Isaac was the only one that has sat there without anything to do.

"Lydia, do you…" she turns to look at him, leaving her phone aside. "Do you think this will work? This whole 'emotional tether' thing?"

"If Deaton said it, means that it has to work," she was about to return to her phone when she noticed how tense Isaac was. "Don't worry, Isaac. They'll probably be back in a couple of hours."

When Lydia got back to check her phone, Isaac broke down. "How can you be so calm? The three of them are dead and if they don't come back, we won't be able to stop Jennifer if she does sacrifices-"

His words were cut by the sound of water splashing against the floor, followed by a howl. Both Lydia and Isaac turned to look at each other before running from the entrance to the room were the tubs were located.

Apparently Scott had come back already, and he was startled and shaking. Deaton came back with a towel for Scott to dry himself, and minutes later, Stiles came back to life too. Lydia went to get Stiles a towel as Scott started explaining where the Nemeton was located.

Deaton gave Scott and Stiles instructions on what to do now – they were going to go and find the guardians before the Lunar Ellipse happened and then they were going to stop Jennifer and Deucalion. Just when both Stiles and Scott were going to change in dry clothes, they noticed that Allison hadn't come back.

"Why hasn't she woken up yet?" Scott asked Deaton. Isaac walked slowly in front of the tub where Allison´s lifeless body lay still.

"Sometimes it can take longer for some people to come back than others. It can even take days sometimes, it depends on the person. Maybe she still hasn't found what she was looking for like you," Dr. Deaton explained to the rest of worried people in the room. "What you need to focus now is on stopping Jennifer before something we might regret happens."

Scott, Stiles and Lydia were all hurrying up to the entrance, when Scott noticed that Isaac wasn't following. "Isaac, are you coming with us?"

"I think you would be able to stop Jennifer without me," Isaac looked up to Scott, who was still waiting on the beta to change his mind. "I can't… I can't leave her. I refuse to leave her side until she wakes up."

Isaac dragged a stool that was located in one of the corners of the room, and sat in it next to the tub.

* * *

Hours have already passed, and Isaac could tell that it was getting late judging by how dark it was outside, and how the clinic was about to close. Deaton had already cleaned up the other two tubs and the room, but Isaac remained still.

"Is it true?" Isaac asked in voice that could have passed as a whisper. "Is she going to come back?"

Deaton could see in his eyes that he was truly scared and sad, like a kid that needed reassurance when something terrible had happened.

"For the first time in my life, I don't really know if she's going to come back or not. I wasn't even really sure Scott and Stiles could come back, since I hadn't tried that ritual before, but they did. Maybe the only thing we can do now is hope that she will be back with us soon."

Deaton grabbed his coat and was ready to leave the clinic and go home, when Isaac spoke again. "Was it my fault? Wasn't I strong enough to bring Allison back?"

Deaton stood still on the door frame. "All this time I keep thinking that maybe, _if maybe_ I hadn't become a werewolf, I would still have my father with me."

"You can't keep blaming yourself for things such as fate, Isaac. Life has a weird way of working, and sometimes it means letting people go. Maybe Allison had to sacrifice herself to keep her father alive, or maybe she's meant to come back when she's ready."

Isaac shook his head as he heard the front door shut. Being all by himself with nothing to do and nobody to talk to was probably the worst decision he has ever made. His thoughts wouldn't leave him alone, how Allison had said she trusted him with this, and he… he let her down. He wasn't so strong after all.

He kind of wished it was himself instead of her in the tub – since he had nobody else, he wouldn't really be missed and he would have saved people, but her? She had her father, who had already lost his wife and now maybe her daughter. She had Lydia, her best friend, who has become like the sister she never had in such short time. She had Scott, who was still clearly in love with her.

And lastly, she had him. He wasn't sure what they were – they went from being enemies and trying to kill each other, to acquaintances, then to being partners in crime, and lastly to being friends. Isaac wasn't sure what was that made him want to be around her, to protect her even though she can take care of herself, and to help her through her crazy missions to try to save the world.

He liked her. He liked her maybe a little too much. He had realized that when he climbed up to her balcony the day he noticed she was absent from school. He realized it when he had to lie to her that Scott had sent him to check up on her when Scott didn't even know she was absent. He realized it when he saw her broken expression on her face when her father was taken by Jennifer, and all he ever wanted to do was hug her – hug her tightly because he understood what it was to have the only left family member to be taken away from you.

The lunar ellipse was just starting, and he ran his hands through his hair out of frustration.

"Allison, what do I have to do to make you come back? Please, I'd do anything for you to be here," he put his hand inside the tub and reached for her hand, giving it a little squeeze just like she had done before going inside the tub.

* * *

Isaac woke up to the sound of Scott and Deaton coming back to the clinic and the sunlight coming from the small windows that are on top of the walls. Apparently he had fallen asleep with his hands inside the tub, because when he got it out, he couldn't feel his hand. He swallowed, feeling bad for Allison because her body had been on that tub for hours.

"What happened?" Isaac asked in a barely audible voice.

"We stopped Deucalion and Jennifer. Derek's leaving town, and you fell asleep during all of it," Scott told him.

"She still hasn't woken up," Isaac returned his gaze to Allison's body.

"She has been on the cold water for almost twenty-four hours, I don't think-"

"Don't say it. She has to come back," Isaac said through gritted teeth.

"Isaac, she may be even suffering from hypothermia now, she doesn't feel anything anymore, she's dead," Scott said, even though those last two words were hard to pronounce for him.

"SHE'S NOT DEAD!" Isaac abruptly got up from the stool he had sat in for the past hours, and started pacing around the room.

"Isaac-"

"SHE HAS TO COME BACK. She's not dead, she has to come back," his last words were shaky, and he suddenly felt like he was back on that freezer his dad used to lock him up in. He felt like he couldn't breathe properly, and the wolf inside of him was starting to come up. He started growling, and he held his hands in front of a wall trying to calm himself down.

"I'm not going anywhere until she wakes up."

"She won't wake up-"

"SHE WILL," Isaac was about to punch the wall when Scott yelled his name, and his eyes went from golden-yellow to normal. He let himself sit on the floor and Scott followed next to him.

"I'm sorry, but she's gone," Scott looked at Isaac, who still couldn't believe what just had happened before his eyes. He gave in and broke into sobs, Scott hugging him as he shed a few tears too.

* * *

Months after Allison's funeral, Isaac still went once every week to her graveyard to visit her. She had written on her tombstone a quote that said "We protect those who cannot protect themselves" as a reminder that she died for a good cause.

He would usually come in after school – he would leave a new and fresh flower on the side of her tombstone and picked up the withered one from the past week. He would sit down for hours until night came in for him, and talked about his week – what the gang was doing, about how it took months for Lydia to give in that she had feelings for Stiles, about the new dangers that were bordering Beacon Hills, and about her.

"I know that we were barely friends, Allison, but every day I wish you could have woken up so we could have spent more time with each other. Sometimes I even wish you were alive, no matter if you wanted to stab me again twenty times with those Chinese ring daggers of yours. It would be a pleasure if I got to spend some time with you again," he let his gaze down, the moonlight was shining on his face, sign that he has spent more time than what he intended to.

"I still keep having nightmares everyday about that day, sometimes they play tricks on me telling me that you're alive, making them seem so real like you've always been alive, but when I wake up, you aren't. And I kind of wish you were here to reassure me that everything's going to be okay," Isaac swallowed after letting out a secret he wouldn't have revealed to anyone else. He had fallen in love with her over these past few months without realizing it.

When he was on his way to Derek's empty loft –which was his now – he realized everyone had moved on with their lives since that incident. Everyone but him, and he knows that he probably won't move on, not now, and not ever.

* * *

_Author's Note: I cried too while writing this, a lot to be honest. I've got this idea overnight yesterday, and I sat down all day writing about it, so I hope this was the right way. I apologize for any mistakes, this isn't beta'd. I hope I can hopefully write some other teen wolf fanfiction someday!_


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